It’s time for you to organize a ‘new life’ after divorce. New couple? Can begin searching. But there are things that must be observed, especially if you have children.
- Realistic thinking
Romance in a relationship is important. But you still have to think realistically. Now you know yourself better and already know things that can make you happy. You also know things in the past that ultimately make you
unhappy. For the next relationship, protect yourself by counting: what should you sacrifice? Is it worth it?
Do you really need to get married?
Ask yourself, do you really need to get married again. What are you married for? Are you afraid of living alone? If living alone is more frightening than living in an unhappy marriage, then your decision is based on fear. Many people think, by having a partner, they will be happy. Even if you can’t be happy alone, you won’t be happy together. Take the time to be alone, talk to yourself and determine what you want to be happy without having to depend on others. One of the basic things to find true happiness is, to be honest with yourself.
- Anticipate the impact on children
Children easily build hopes and foster emotional closeness to your prospective partner. If you yourself are not sure he will be your next life partner, do not first introduce to children. They will feel hurt if it turns out that your partner is not married to you. It is like you have planted plants, but when the roots have started strong, you pull them out. Be careful about your decision to bring your partner into your child’s life. Until you are absolutely 100% sure, your child only needs to know him as an ordinary friend.
Feeling disappointed can be experienced when one ex-couple starts Tulsa dating scene a new partner. This feeling of disappointment or hurt has an impact on the attitude of the former spouse towards the child. “Mother already introduced you to your new future father?” And vice versa, when the child’s mother asked, “You already know your new prospective mother?” This question certainly makes children worried because he can feel the “charge” hurt in the sentence uttered by one of his parents. Although feeling disappointed
and heartache is natural, control your emotions in the presence of children. However, the child is also the ‘sick’ party due to the separation of his parents. When children know one of their parents is happy while others feel hurt, the child is in the wrong position.
Inviting children to date new partners is a good thing. It’s just possible that it can be done when the child is comfortable with a new partner. Don’t force children if they don’t want to go with you and your boyfriend. ‘Dating’ together is one means to bring children closer. This ‘Dating’ together does not always have to show an excessive expression between you and your boyfriend but instead can see how the ‘chemistry’ between your child and boyfriend. Ask the child what he feels or thinks. Avoid being overly affectionate or even quarreling with girlfriends, because children feel it is inappropriate to see it.
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